Lashings World XI Player Profiles DAVID SMITH - MANAGER “POSITIVELY regal” was how the great Tony Lewis once described David Smith’s batting style and our manager was arguably several years ahead of his time as a pioneering batsman for Surrey, Worcestershire, and Sussex. Marrying the strength you’d expect from someone who’s in the region of six foot six with a certain elegance, Smudger, (the legally required nickname for all cricketers named Smith) also had two brief spells with the England team, sadly curtailed by injury. Since retirement he’s raced cars, played in goal for the Lashings football team and had several business interests. A very nice man, but punctual to a fault. Do not be late to a meeting with our manager. CHRIS SCHOFIELD - THE SKIPPER SCHOEY is now in his second season as Lashings captain, having skippered the team through an unbeaten 2016 campaign. Despite his name as a leg-spinner for Lancashire and then England, Schoey has perhaps been even more effective as a batsman for the All-Stars, either as an opener, or as a fire-fighter batting down the order. The captaincy was a just reward for several seasons of loyalty and excellence. VICE CAPTAIN – MARTIN BICKNELL Cool and unflappable at all times, even when Henry Blofeld has confused him with his brother for the 36th time during a live commentary, the Surrey legend took 1061 wickets in 20 seasons for the same county. His exploits earned him an international call up during the uniquely troubled English summer of 1993, when Ted Dexter was selecting and discarding fast bowlers with all the strategic prowess of a First World War general ordering his men into No Man’s Land. Bickers survived this experience and earned a long-deserved international recall ten years later, under more enlightened leaders. TINO BEST IT isn’t east to start a fight in Bexhill-on-sea, partly because it isn’t easy to find someone young enough to actually square up to, but such is Tino’s style that he managed to start a ruckus during a game in the quiet, some would say somnabulent, seaside resort a few years ago. For a devout Christian, Tino has a surprisingly old testament attitude towards opposition batsmen (and Sussex-based pensioners). Once dismissed as “a Ferrari without a steering wheel,” although as his team mate Devon Malcolm pointed out: “At least you are a Ferrari. They are not calling you a Toyota Prius.” When he isn’t talking in an indecipherable patois he can do a surprisingly accurate impression of Henry Blofeld. DEVON MALCOLM AKA “Mr 9-57”, the stats he posted on that tumultuous day at The Oval in 1994, when the South Africans made the mistake of riling him. Devon was always known as a fairly low-temperature customer, but when Fani DeVilliers hit him on the helmet it was probably the most counter-productive display of aggression by a South African since Joss Ackland ordered Patsy Kensit’s death in Lethal Weapon 2. Dev’s reply to Fanie was “you guys are history” and the rest was … well, history. GORDON GREENIDGE ONE of the all-time great players in one of the all-time great sides, Gordon scored 7558 runs during his test career at an average of 44.72. A destructive but elegant batsman, Gordon was an integral part of the West Indies team immortalised in the film “Fire in Babylon.” Still plays that trademark flick over his hip at an age when many of his peers need that particular joint replacing, he’s been with Lashings for over a decade. It’s less well-known that he’s now a gourmet chef as well! MONTY PANESAR POSSIBLY one of the most loved English cricketers of the modern era, Monty was a fabulous spinner, a surprisingly resilient tail-ender as he proved at Cardiff in 2009 and let’s not forget his fielding, which… well on second thoughts, let’s forget his fielding. RYAN SIDEBOTTOM STANDING at a daunting six foot four inches tall, Ryan Sidebottom would be the tallest player on the circuit (ok, other than Mohammad Irfan) if he backcombed that magnificent mop of hair. “Sidey” will hit 40 this summer, but if anyone proves age is just a number it’s the Yorkshire and England bowler, whose all-action style had helped him claim 737 first-class wickets by the end of the 2016 season. This year will apparently be his last as a professional – we hope he’ll carry on for a lot longer in the black and gold of Lashings. ADAM HOLLIOAKE ADAM was a major factor in the late nineties revival of English cricket and the first ever specialist England one-day international captain. He vindicated what at the time was a bold decision by the selectors to lead the Three Lions to victory in the 1997 Sharjah Tournament and was a key figure in what was a golden era for his county. Made 9376 runs during his first-class career and claimed 352 wickets. His abrasive style led him into an interesting choice after retiring. “I like cricket but my real love is fighting,” he said recently, having followed the rare, in fact probably unique, career path of swapping cricket for Mixed Martial Arts. CHARL WILLOUGHBY OUR brand ambassador in the west of England, Charl was a pacebowler with a rapid action, able to take wickets on surfaces that offered about as much help as a chronically depressed ticket booth operator outside the Eiffel Tower – and a similar amount of movement. Charl’s first class career lasted for 18 seasons, during which he starred for Somerset, Essex and Leicestershire and claimed 848 wickets. Appeared in a total of five internationals for South Africa. WARREN HEGG ANOTHER player to have enjoyed a lengthy domestic career, “Heggy” made his Lancashire debut in 1986 and was still playing T20 cricket in 2005, having taken 857 catches, claimed 94 stumpings and averaged just under 28 in the mean time. Unlucky to have a career that overlapped both Jack Russell and Alec Stewart, without whom he surely would have won more than the two caps he collected for England. GERAINT JONES THE wicket keeper is probably the only first class cricketer to have Anglo-Welsh-Australian-Papua new Guinean heritage. Talent-spotted by Duncan Fletcher as one of the men capable of ending 19 years of hurt, Geraint will forever be remembered for his role in the 2005 Ashes serious and particularly for Richie Benaud’s “Jones! … Bowden!” commentary at the end of that astonishing second test at Edgbaston. A man of Kent who started his career at Glamorgan and ended it with Gloucestershire. NICK COMPTON CLASSICAL opening batman with a technique that has purists purring as they sup on their pink gin. Compton, whose nickname was rather disappointingly “Compo” and not “Straight Outta”, is part of a cricketing dynasty, grandson of Dennis and great-nephew of Leslie. After a brief break from the game following his exclusion from the England test side last year, he returned to help his county, Middlesex, win their first county championship since 1993, thwarting his former club Somerset in the process. ANDREW HALL SOUTH African all-rounder who once endured the agony of being run out on 99 during a test match against England at Headingley, although he could point to the163 he scored against India in Kanpur as evidence that his career had its fair share of highlights as well. Also played in English domestic cricket for Kent and later Northamptonshire, where he became a local legend. One of the few cricketers to have survived being shot in the hand at a cash machine. MICHAEL CARBERRY A GENUINE inspiration, Carberry survived cancer to return to first-class cricket this April and he scored a century in his first innings back for Hampshire against Cardiff University at The Rose Bowl, earning him a standing ovation. Carbs was the second-highest run scorer on England’s troubled Ashes tour of 2013-14 and during his career he has amassed over 13,000 first-class runs. Although he says his recovery is “far from complete” we all hope he’ll amass several thousand more. JOHN EMBUREY CAPABLE of bewildering batsmen a third of his age, “Embers” could still spin a billiard ball on an ice rink if the situation demanded it. Also a continually effective lower order batsman. During his test career he was one of the few Englishmen capable of reading Shane Warne. YASIR ARAFAT VASTLY experienced all-rounder and T20 specialist whose made 27 appearances for Pakistan. Helped Kent win the domestic T20 competition in 2007 and has since had spells with Susses, Somerset, Scotland and a trophy-winning sting with the Pert Scorchers in the Big Bash. KIRK EDWARDS ANNOUNCED his arrival on the international stage with a debut century against India in 2011, Kirk was famously was sacked by the Barbados team for “refusing to sign for the arrival of match kits.” Who knew that signing on the dotted line was more important than the ability to score hundreds in test matches? DARREN SAMMY THE man who helped give the world the “Champion!” song as he skippered the West Indies to glory in their unforgettable T20 World Cup success last year. Arguably under-rated as both a bowler and a lower order batsman, and a man with captaincy skills to rival Mike Brearley. ALEX TUDOR FAMOUSLY stranded on 99 when England beat New Zealand back in (appropriately enough) 1999, Alex is a former Cricket Writers Association Young Cricketer of the Year and a Surrey legend who took 351 wickets during a first-class career that also saw him appear for Essex. NIALL O’BRIEN IRELAND’S genial wicket-keeper batsman has been a key player in his country’s emergence as a new international force over the last decade. As youthful as Niall looks, he has actually been around for quite a while, making his first class debut for Kent as long ago as 2004, when he was the understudy to an England-bound Geraint Jones. Part of Ireland’s cricketing royal family, his father Brendan once captained the national team and his brother scored a magnificent match-winning ton against England at the 2011 World Cup. IAIN O’BRIEN EXPERIENCED international from Lower Hutt near Wellington, who played 22 test matches for New Zealand and once took 6-75 against the West Indies at Napier back in 2008. Describes himself as a “superseriously-quick-dibbly-dobbly” bowler. DARREN MADDY STALWART of the English county scene for the best part of two decades, Darren won the four-day championship with Leicetershire in both 1996 and 1998 before evolving into a T20 star later in his career. Scored 13,796 first-class runs, first with the Foxes and then with Warwickshire. He also made 15 appearances for England across the three international formats. OWAIS SHAH The man we call “Ace” (get it?) was someone who could, on his day, ignite an innings, first for Middlesex and later in his career for Essex and Hampshire. Played 71 one-day-internationals for England, including a memorable 107 against India 10 years ago. WASIM JAFFER His nickname should probably be “Absolute” as there are times when he’s unplayable. Rather disappointingly it’s actually “Was”, but never mind. A man who hit a triple century in only his second first class match, “Was” made five trebles for India in test matches, including two double hundreds. His personal high watermark came when he hit 212 v the West Indies in 2006. JON BATTY RELIABLE county performer for Gloucestershire, Northants and later Surrey, where he replaced his Lashings team mate as captain in 2003. Enjoyed a late career reinvention as an opening batsman when Mark Butcher was injured, his average soaring from 16 to 57. ALFONSO THOMAS PACE bowler who is precisely the kind of man you want in your side towards the end of a limited overs game. His right-arm pace has been deployed on the English county circuit for a number of years and he’s also a South African T20 international, having taken 3-25 in his only international game, a 10-wicket thrashing of Pakistan in Johannesburg back in 2007. JASON GILLESPIE THE words “down to earth” and “Australian cricketer” seldom appear in the same sentence, but Dizzy is just that. As a bowler he absorbed all the “banter” the Barmy Army could throw at him, taking the side-splitting enquiry about the whereabouts of his caravan in good cheer. Now an exceptional coach, who having twice won the county championship with Yorkshire is now lending his expertise to Kent. USMAN AFZAAL INDIAN-BORN, England international who has appeared for Northamptonshire, Notts and Surrey, while also turning out for Kalabagan Krira Chakra in Bangladesh. Nicknamed “Trevor”. (No, me neither). BRAD HOGG VETERAN all-rounder who made 123 one-day international appearances for Australia, in addition to his seven test caps and his 15 T20 call-ups. Won the World Cup in Australia in 2003 and would almost certainly have played in more tests but for the presence of a blonde spinner whose name momentarily escapes us … MATT COLES POWERFUL cricketer with a Botham like physique who’s played for England A, Hampshire and is now in his second spell with his home county, Kent. Starred in Lashings BREDS Cup win in Jamaica back in 2015, a more than useful bowler and a very handy lower order batsman. HARDUS VILJOEN IMPOSING bowler from South Africa whose one test to date came in a seven-wicket defeat to England in 2016 at Johannesburg, during which he claimed the wicket of England skipper Alastair Cook with his very first delivery. Has also played for Kent and has since decided to become a Kolpak player. ANDREW GALE THE man who led Yorkshire to back-to-back titles in 2014 and 2015, Gale has spent his entire career with the White Rose county, scoring 8,217 runs as of the start of this season. Also appeared for the England Lions team. GRAHAM ONIONS LILY Allen’s favourite cricketer, which in some publications would be an excuse for a spectacularly lame link, along the lines of “he certainly makes us smile!” But not this one. Terrific, skiddy quick English bowler who also starred in two famous regard actions against South Africa in 2010, surviving the last ball on each occasion to secure memorable draws.

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